Wow! I feel I am sort of in the same position you are. I stopped pioneering early this year but as of yet have not resigned as a MS. Not sure what I'm waiting for. I too became curious of why so called apostates felt the way they did. What was/is the WTS trying to hide? I haven't commented either since about May, not once. And I have been missing meetings a lot, which I rarely ever did. I am currently also reading "other" things, books exposing the WTS.
As far as my wife, she has actually become somewhat receptive recently.
I'm also a people person so it makes it difficult to just completely walk away. But a fade sounds good to me. And I could see myself making friends just fine with "wordly" people, as I get along well with pretty much everyone.
And yes, I believe that the "holy spirit" guides the brothers to make too many mistakes. It doesn't make sense.
Anyway, WELCOME!!
My advice: BE PATIENT. Read as many posts as possible regarding how people deal with their believing mates and the outcome. There are no guarantees, but it can help you to formulate a plan.
I wish you the best in your struggle.
CoC